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I Love Me
This is not a statement born out of vanity, but a simple declaration
that I have as much love to give myself as I give to anyone else.
It declares that my world starts from me outwards and not the other
way around. It doesn't stop me from being loving and generous to others,
but it allows me to acknowledge that love starts from my self in order
to "be love" and "have love" for others.
Of course, that's the ideal.
Most of the time, we are flapping around looking to latch onto anything
that looks like it loves us, because of a big gaping hole in our self-esteem
that says "I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm worthless, nobody loves me"
or variations on that theme.
And, what do we fill up this void with? Anything that comes along and
gives some satisfaction, no matter how temporary. Just like junk food
addicts - we accept whatever is handy, to try and fill up the hungry
need. So, when along comes the lover who really just wants someone to
replace his mother and wash his shirts - yep you'll do - I'm hungry
now, I'll worry about the indigestion later! Or, maybe you keep attracting
Miss Dominator - and each time you hope that inside this wrapping you
might find a caramel creme, as opposed to the nut cluster you usually
get. Or perhaps you buy a dog, cat, budgerigar - anything you can call
your own and that demonstrates unconditional love (well nearly unconditional,
they don't know how to use the can opener).
Our relationship with food makes a good analogy for how we respond
to people - both demonstrate our values of self-esteem.
We generally know what we should eat for a healthy diet, that junk
food provides a quick fix when we're hungry but it doesn't sustain us
- mostly it makes us fat and often makes us ill. We know that for a
healthy body, we should eat healthy food ....
And so it is with relationships - the people we choose to have close
relationships with in life reflect what our sub-conscious self thinks
we deserve or are worth. Look closely at those people - they are a really
good barometer of your inner self-esteem.
So, if you've not yet achieved your conscious desires for a partner
who not only washes his own shirts but also irons yours or someone who
doesn't greet you at the door with a rolling pin, then it's time for
a long hard chat with your self-esteem.
It may need a bit of coaxing to get it out of it's hiding place though
- it knows it's in trouble already because it was the one that got you
into this mess in the first place!
So be nice to it, call a truce, give it all the love you have, forgive
it for past mistakes and let it come out into the light and bask in
the warmth of your love.
That's all it was looking for anyway.
Hargreaves 1st May 2004)
I love me - Hark.net.au